NEWS FLASH

I've begun a new blog friends.  I feel like you want to follow it.  It is very honestly me.  You will get regular, if not frequent updates on my health (my owie, Lila Mae etc..).  You will sometimes get the funnies in my life.  You will always get the moments that mean the most to me.  It is a private blog, but if you would like to follow it, contact me at ranitsunami@gmail.com and I will give you permission to view it.  Love you.

A little bit of this and a little bit more of Lila Mae

"God loves us all-saint and sinner alike-with a perfect and everlasting love. We have his love, if not his approval. It is our love for Him that remains to be developed. When we come to be genuinely concerned with pleasing God-more than with pleasing any in the world, even ourselves-then our behavior improves and His blessings can engulf us. This sublime feeling can be experienced only if we come to know enough about Him so that our awe melts into adoration, and our respect into utter reverence." Neal A. Maxwell

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes into rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently, He starts knocking the house about in a away that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent littl cottage: but He is building a palace." C.S. Lewis

Will I choose to be loved and love in return? Will I bear it all in hope of something far greater than I currently am? I hope so. I think I will choose so.
As of late, life baffles me. Really, it does. I see windows of opportunity, doors to the future. Some, I take while others I watch go uncomfortably by. I think on it. I shrug my shoulders and move on-sometimes in exasparation, sometimes with cheery gratitude that Heavenly Father has directed me once again.
Lila Mae makes me sick, but Lila Mae also makes me think. Where do I want to be? Who do I love? What do I want? What am I willing to sacrifice to get there, them, and it? How brave am I willing to be?
Friends, I don't even know. They say with age comes beauty, distance makes the heart grow fonder, slow and steady wins the race, and know one can answer that question but you. I just don't even know.
But I will. If I choose it. I choose to believe all of the above.

Lila Mae, my tiny little friend.

Lila Mae is only 10 mm big and for such a tiny size, she sure knows how to make havoc.
Lila Mae has been my constant companion this last year, and maybe even longer. It's hard to tell.
With Lila Mae, I'm nauseaus, weepy, indecisive, heavy, tiny, without appetite, with severe headache, forgetful, anxious, fatigued, hormonal, weak, and apathetic.
It's not really Lila Mae's fault but I don't know why she chose to set up house in my pituitary gland. Shouldn't a tumor know better than to mess with a girls hormones?
Next week I will consult with an authority about evicting this tenant of mine. We will do what is in the best interest of me, obviously. It could be that Lila Mae will remain my companion and we just hope to keep her in check via medications. It could be that Lila Mae is really rather damaging and will continue to be a pain so we'll kick her to the curb. Either way, knowing that Lila Mae exists, answers a lot of questions and helps me to make sense of my last year.

When it Winders

One of the pre-schoolers commented the other day that it was "windering outside." I like the idea of windering. It feels good. When it winders, the better idea is to curl up to read a fantastic book while eating a bowl of homemade soup. As of late, when it winders, I do the following:

Temple, Festival of Colors, and laser tag, all in one day

Color search for CamCam's wedding although I've had samples

since maybe five years ago. Phew...she didn't get married while

I was on my mission.

Spectate a few BYU games, dozing for only half of the time

Download a few cheesy love songs

(confession: Justine Bieber's, "Baby" being one of them)

Make crepes, eat crepes...did I mention that we do that

with fantastic friends?

Sport a mustache

Learn self defense and how to use pepper spray

Cut pieces for a quilt, I choose not to sew them together-what a

disaster if I do!

Sushi. I fall in love over and over again.

Make a little anonymous mischief

Visit doctors

Plan a reunion

Practice yoga with one of my besties

Offer up prayers for one of my besties

Boycott, sorta

Make new friends

Argue, reconcile

Laugh, laugh, laugh

Sport a prom dress from ages ago

Cry, a little

Ask for help

Procrastinate, a lot

Pick myself up by the boot straps and look forward in faith

Pizza rolls and Pocahontas

1:33 Am and that is what is on my mind-Pizza rolls and Pocahontas. No joke. Pizza rolls are in the oven. Pocahontas came as a flashback today in Relief Society when Sarah asked the presidency to share a favorite scripture.
Being as my brain is slowing drastically, more to come in the later hours of the AM

BOYcotting

To preface this, refer to my prior post, "For REAL," September 1, 2010

I am BOYcotting.

I am coughing for the second time this season-very unusual considering that prior to my mission, I had been almost envious of those lung rattling coughers. I had never done it.

My sciatic nerve, or both sciatic nerves are freaking out.

I don't sleep.

I don't eat.

I don't go to the gym. I rarely go to yoga.

And I think it's because I don't know how to say no.

I am available emotionally to far too many people who are not always there in turn. Don't get me wrong, it can't always be give and take, nor should always be so. But I have far too many obligations in school, work, church, and social life. To maintain balance, to cultivate a healthy lifestyle, I have to choose who is well worth my investment. Boys just aren't well worth it right now. I can't do it anymore. I am tired. I am sorry.
Now friends, don't get me wrong, I am not shunning, severing or closing the door(I don't have the heart to do it). I am just being pretty bold in prioritizing and challenge you to do the same. If I don't make the cut, I am not offended. Some of you haven't made mine, simply because I don't feel I have made yours.
For those of you who make plans and follow through, who spend free time aiding me in my altogether chaotic antics and projects, who make sure I am eating when I get root canals and am coughing my lungs to pieces, or who are just present, thank-you. I am giving up some very important people, some very important obligations for YOU. Because you are important too. Because you have proven to be well worth my time and investment.
So here's to more heart and (hopefully) more time.

Good morning!

Dave Barnes - I Have and Always Will

This guy is not Dave Barnes, but he does a beautiful job of this song.
Happy Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day Faves

"YOU RAWK"

-with a pic of a parrot-



Valentine's Day is tomorrow.

Your nice note filled my heart with sorrow.

Even though your words made me sad,

You guys are totally rad.

-Marcus Romboy, on our whiteboard-



Roses are red, you wet the bed.

You have rocks in your head.

-Kelsie, on our anonymouse Valentine's to boys-

Universal Love Story

I thought I'd drop you a thought or two before I dove back into my homework:

• My room smells like Thai yellow curry and Jasmine rice. I love it. I don't know if there is any other dish that I like better.
• Two quotes:

"The Plan of Happiness, then, deliberately includes the universal Love Story, history's most familiar and most hoped-for story line: boy meets girl, they fall in love, and then together they face trials and conquer their opposition, until they have proven worthy of an eternal love, ultimately inheriting the right to be where love lasts forever. But getting there is very hard work. And even when they give that process every particle of their strength, the story couldn't have a happy ending without Christ's part in it." Bruce C. Hafen

"Love is the grand motive of the Plan of Salvation; it is the source of happiness, the ever renewing spring of healing, the preciouse fountain of hope. " Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Chocolate and Yoga

Yoga. I love it.

I cannot live without it.

Chocolate. I love it.

I cannot live without it.

I love chocolate when there is a boy

and he gives it to me.

I love chocolate when he's high tailed it the other way

and I buy it for myself.

I also like chocolate when I have a lot

of homework to do.

I love chocolate with my girl friends

and for every holiday.

I love non-American chocolate.

I choose chocolate.

I love yoga when there is a boy to do it with me

or to love that I do it.

I love yoga when he's high tailed it and run the other way

and I do it by myself.

I also like it when I have

homework to do.

I love yoga with my girl friends

and for every holiday.

I love traditional yoga-non of this

popular stuff.

I love yoga.

I love chocolate.

Last Night and This Morning

Confession: I didn't acutally view most of it,

just glimpses of the second half...

I think I had a migraine so I passed out on Chris's couch

after consuming hot wings and Italian chocolate.

This last week was a killer and I guess

it caught up with me.

But this week looks to be better.

I started it out right:

Restorative Yoga (1 1/2 hours)

Chirorpractic appointment/work out

Cranial massage

Steel cut oatmeal

This may prove to be the busiest week

of the year so far.

Still I think I may survive.

This is what I look forward to:

Dance Planning mtg.

Yoga instruction on Wednesday, led by Sara

Various other yoga classes

Thai Partner Yoga Therapy Four Hour Training Session

My little Brother's Shakespeare play

Valentine's Day card-making at FHE

Temple

The rest of my responsibilites are too numerous to mention

but I am hoping that the above mentioned activities

will help rather than hinder the amount of work

I get done.

I'll survive. Yep. Oh please!

Even Numbers

I like 15 after, 30 or on the hour.

I have never liked 17, 12, or 20.

Tonight I am choosing to go to bed at 1:30 AM

I have approximately eight minutes.

Tomorrow I will wake up sometime between 7:17 ish

and 7:34 ish, but I need perfect increments of time,

so I will not get out of bed until

8:00 or 8:30 because most likely I will doze

until 8:03, miss 8:15 and need to wait til 8:30.

Lovely

"Real Charity is not something you give away;

it is something that you acquire and make a part of yourself.

And when the virtue of charity becomes implanted in your heart,

you are never the same again."

Marvin J. Ashton

"Fulfill ye my joy,

that ye be like-minded,

having the same love,

being of one accord, of one mind."

Philippians 2: 2

"Seeing ye have

purified your souls in obeying

the truth through the spirit

unto unfeigned

love of the brethren,

see that ye

love one another

with a pure heart

fervently."

1 Peter 1: 22

The Weepies - World Spins Madly On [Official Music Video]

Same Same but Different. Love this one too!

Thought of You - by Ryan Woodward

February is for lovers right? While I don't have a lover, I do have many I love. Love you!

"Conflict is_____________"

My assigment? Take a survey asking people to fill in the blank. "Conflict is___________"

Here are some of the responses. My peers will remain anonymous but I will note whether they are male (M) or female (F).



Conflict is like:

1. An argument (F)

2. Civil War (F)

3. Miscommunication (M)

4. Pasta (M)

5. A hurricane (F)

6. Chaos (F)

7. Opposition; you can't live with it and you can't love without it. (M)

8. Conflict is life! No simile needed here. (F)

9. Okay the first thing that came to mind is hell. Haha. Sorry! (F)

10. Crap (M)

11. Women (M)

12. Eight letters long (M)

13. Death. That's the first thing that came to mind. (F)

14. A sharp blade. Necessary at times, productive at times, but has the potential to just cause harm. (M)

Pretty Dang Cute too

Pretty Dang Cute

Three Things

I learned a thing or two last night about priorities. President and Sister Brenchley and President Larsen met with our ward so that we could become acquainted with them. Inspired teachers and life-long disciples, I am humbled to be instructed and lead.
President Brenchley refered to something he had learned from Elder Bednar not long ago. Someone had asked Elder Bednar how we can find balance in our lives, to which he responded, "You can't." He spoke of jugglers who put stacks of plates on thin poles, first spinning one and then another until 12 plus plates are spinning precariously in a line. How do they keep them all spinning? They watch the plates that are just about to fall, focus on them til they are going, and then move on to the next. I mulled this around in my head and felt a strange peace. I am juggling right now. I can't seem to make up my mind about how I feel about it or how I am doing with it-one minute I am humbled and empowered knowing that Heavenly Father is in the details, seeing the miracles in everyday life and the next minute I am close to tears, wondering if this is really what I want or if I have made the right decision. And I am still jugggling.
This is life my friends and as overwhelming as it may seem, as risky as it is to juggle so many things on seemingly unstable foundations, we are infinitly more capable if we put our trust in a God who knows how to juggle better than we do and a Savior who stands by our side with two extra hands (hands that bear prints of His love and his sacrifice).
*Reminder: I am juggling; sorry if those thoughts are super fragmented and less than eloquent. I just thought you should hear from me once in a while :)